via Inspired by This
Today's post is for the single girls. Most young women have the desire to someday find their "Prince Charming" and ride away to the beautiful palace.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
How do we find these stud muffins, you ask? Dating? Courtship? Christian Mingle? Good question.
So, ladies. I'm going to give you a hint - turns out, dating (and Christian Mingle!) just isn't the biblical way. I'm gonna be honest today. When you date someone, you spend an extended time alone with them. When you spend a lot of time alone with a guy, there is a very very very very very very (ahem) VERY good chance that one of you is going to fall in love.
Not a problem, right? Wrong. When you enter a relationship without that commitment that marriage provides, you are in effect falling in love with some other girl's husband. Do you want to be a name on a list of ex-girlfriends? Not me.
"But we're talking about marriage!" Even so, when you're already in love with that person BEFORE that commitment has been made, you're on a slippery slope. Women in love do silly things. Again, I'm being honest. I'm fairly sure you know someone who has at one point made a bad decision about a guy.
I can hear you asking - "if not dating, then what?!"
Enter: Courtship.
Stop cringing. This isn't the 1800s, and you don't have to sit in the parlor. Courtship is when two people (who have a mutual interest in each other) decide to enter into a relationship with the "end result" of marriage. Don't misunderstand me - this is not Dating Lite. Before any commitments are made, both the girl and her family and the guy and his family pray and seek the Lord on this decision. It's one of the biggest choices of your life, so this step is most important.
If all parties are getting a "yes", the couple gets the green light to start to get to know each other - in controlled environments. Keyword: never alone. "That's old-fashioned!" Yep, it is. But guess what? If you're planning on marrying this person, you'll have your whole lives to be alone together. Why rush it when there's a danger of defraud? Engagements are cheap - girls get "left at the altar" all the time.
JUST WAIT. It's simple. You can get to know your mister and your future in-laws. Bonus, right? It makes Thanksgiving so much easier.
Bring your sister or trusted friend along with you on dates. Go to his house for dinner with him and his family. Have him over to your house. (If you don't live at home, go out to eat with both families.) Basically, whenever the two of you want to do something, bring a person with you. It keeps the standard of purity set - and kept!
In short, (too late, right?) courtship is the best option for a Christian young woman to find a spouse. The romance is still there. The love and that connection is still there. What isn't there? The defraud, and the broken heart. You save that preciousness for marriage - it will be worth the wait.
Another thing that people often get wrong when thinking about courtship is age. Listen, if you are 14 you can't enter a courtship. If you are 17 you can't enter a courtship! That's dating. Wait until both of you are ready to start a life together. All the couples I know who got married young wish that they had waited. You have your whole life ahead of you - enjoy being single for a while!
A few verses, so stick with me!
Not a problem, right? Wrong. When you enter a relationship without that commitment that marriage provides, you are in effect falling in love with some other girl's husband. Do you want to be a name on a list of ex-girlfriends? Not me.
"But we're talking about marriage!" Even so, when you're already in love with that person BEFORE that commitment has been made, you're on a slippery slope. Women in love do silly things. Again, I'm being honest. I'm fairly sure you know someone who has at one point made a bad decision about a guy.
I can hear you asking - "if not dating, then what?!"
Enter: Courtship.
Stop cringing. This isn't the 1800s, and you don't have to sit in the parlor. Courtship is when two people (who have a mutual interest in each other) decide to enter into a relationship with the "end result" of marriage. Don't misunderstand me - this is not Dating Lite. Before any commitments are made, both the girl and her family and the guy and his family pray and seek the Lord on this decision. It's one of the biggest choices of your life, so this step is most important.
If all parties are getting a "yes", the couple gets the green light to start to get to know each other - in controlled environments. Keyword: never alone. "That's old-fashioned!" Yep, it is. But guess what? If you're planning on marrying this person, you'll have your whole lives to be alone together. Why rush it when there's a danger of defraud? Engagements are cheap - girls get "left at the altar" all the time.
JUST WAIT. It's simple. You can get to know your mister and your future in-laws. Bonus, right? It makes Thanksgiving so much easier.
Bring your sister or trusted friend along with you on dates. Go to his house for dinner with him and his family. Have him over to your house. (If you don't live at home, go out to eat with both families.) Basically, whenever the two of you want to do something, bring a person with you. It keeps the standard of purity set - and kept!
In short, (too late, right?) courtship is the best option for a Christian young woman to find a spouse. The romance is still there. The love and that connection is still there. What isn't there? The defraud, and the broken heart. You save that preciousness for marriage - it will be worth the wait.
Another thing that people often get wrong when thinking about courtship is age. Listen, if you are 14 you can't enter a courtship. If you are 17 you can't enter a courtship! That's dating. Wait until both of you are ready to start a life together. All the couples I know who got married young wish that they had waited. You have your whole life ahead of you - enjoy being single for a while!
A few verses, so stick with me!
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22)
This one is for us single folks. That desire you have to be married is God-given and God-designed. You forget, God is the One who created marriage in the first place! (Genesis 2:18-25) What you do with those feelings can make a big difference. Those "passions" are meant for marriage - not for a dating relationship. I'm sure you either have experienced or know someone who has experienced defraud in a relationship. It hurts. Save yourself the trouble and WAIT.
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. (Song of Solomon 2:7)
Again - let love sleep! Don't be mad at me when I tell you - you don't love him until you're ready to make a lifelong commitment. (And vice versa - he may say he loves you, but unless he's gotten down on one knee, there's a good chance he's not being completely honest.) Even more important, if he really loves you he will guard your purity, not try to take it. That should be of the highest value to him!
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Single ladies - God has a plan for you! He has the perfect, most amazing man for you. Be patient. Don't rush His plans...you may miss that Mr. Right because you're chasing after Mr. Wrong.
You are so special. You are made with a purpose. That perfect guy is out there if you wait for him. You'll find him when you least expect it. Go after God and He will bring your husband to you. My father was stationed in Korea before my parents met - he was brought to my mother from across the world! Trust in the Lord.
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